Other Blogs

I read other blogs. Weight-losing blogs, alternate lifestyle blogs, and some that I don't even understand how I found blogs. Some have many followers. Some have lurkers, like me, who read but don't post anything. Some have video posts where the blogger talks to you or performs their special talent. I tend to read many in an extended period instead of a little of all each day.

I am currently following two blogs: Ex Hot Girl, and Does Every Woman Have an Eating Disorder? They are both about eating, losing weight, and body image but they are different in their tone. EHG is lighthearted, confident, and full of energy while DEWHaED? is more negative and often requests that people reply to specific topics for research purposes.

I write my posts as if someone out there will be reading them. I haven't told anyone yet that I'm blogging...but maybe I have a lurking visitor...

Third day. One meal in a restaurant. Third low-carb day. Good Night.

One Day Down; a Bazillion to go...

I ate low-carb yesterday. I was almost easy since my lower back was killing me and my chiropractor told me to lay down on my back with my knees bent. It feels mostly better today but it is still tight.

Day two. Usually a harder day. Good thing is that I don't have to go out to eat with anyone. That'll be tomorrow--twice--breakfast and lunch.

I have to remember that I'm loosing weight for me. Because I feel more energized, less fatigued, less victimized by my hormone fluctuations. My memory is better and my skin is clearer, too. Only good things. So what exactly is my fu*%$^& problem?

I think that food is my friend / reward / consolation prize. It is certainly easier to eat what ever you feel like when ever you feel like it. But few people can get away with that, and it is not very healthy. I think my struggle is about exercise.

In the past, I have lost weight because I was moving. The gym, walking every morning, working many hours. I wasn't necessarily happier with my life, I was working a plan. As soon as the plan plays out and I get really close to my goal weight, I get sloppy. And put on weight.

Maybe my weight is not what will make me happy. Maybe there are many other elements that I'm not dealing with that will make me a more satisfied person.

Or, maybe not. Maybe I am just really sensitive to carbohydrates and I have to be diligent. Every day. For ever.

Ugh.

New Month. First Monday.

How many people will be starting a diet today? The first Monday of the new year...

I have to start exercising. Exercising makes me feel awake, energized, tight, and sexy. So why can't I stick with it?

New Year. New Start.

Happy New Year!

It has been very difficult to find the motivation (also referred to as 'umf') to do almost everything. The smaller my world gets, the bigger my ass gets. I've been able to compensate for my lack of responsibility by using technology for things like maintaining a calendar and automatically paying bills. But I am seriously stuck.

I wanted to write here today to start fresh. It's not that I don't know I'm a lump. It's just that I seem unable to do anything about it at this time. So a small step in the right direction. I posted.

I'll see you tomorrow.